


A Place Where You Belong

by brokencasbutt67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fluff, Gabriel's nicknames for Sam, Insecurity, M/M, Self Harm, Smut, Suicide Attempt, Unconsciousness, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 05:54:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10587804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokencasbutt67/pseuds/brokencasbutt67





	1. Chapter 1

3 suspicious deaths, it seemed like a simple ghost hunt, Dean had sent Sammy with Gabriel, allowing both couples to spend time together, alone, but something went wrong. Sam and Gabriel thought that the ghost was attached to the toy and they burnt the toy, but that didn't work. Gabriel realised that it was attached to the young boy's chain around his neck. Gabriel would take it the next day to burn it with Sam before they would spend the week together and return on the Monday.

After his shower, Sam found Gabriel staring out of the window into the dark forest. Sam silently padded across the cold motel floor to Gabriel, where he wrapped his arms around his waist.  
"Hey Sam" Gabriel said, trying to bite back tears.  
"Hey Gabe, what's up?" Sam asked, rubbing his hand on Gabriel's hips. Sam connected his hand with Gabriel's and rubbed it gently.   
"Just thinking, 's all" Gabriel says, watching as a small bird flies away. The silence in the room is peaceful, compared to the usual noise of Dean and Castiel.  
"Big day tomorrow Gabe, let's get to bed" Sam says, slowly unbuttoning Gabriel's shirt. Gabriel turns in Sam's arms and hugs him tightly, missing the human contact that he provides. With Dean almost always in the room with them, they are frowned upon by him when they want to cuddle. Sam backs them to the bed, where he removes his own shirt. Naturally, Gabriel is the little spoon due to the height difference and the fact that he misses the feeling of arms around him as he sleeps. Sam loves Gabriel being the little spoon because Sam can feel someone in his arms and sleep comfortably in the knowledge that they won't die. Sam grabs his sweat pants and changes into them, but soon changes his mind and removes them.

"Want to feel more skin Gabe, only want boxers on tonight" Sam says, rubbing a hand on Gabriel's waist. Gabriel quickly strips to his own pink and blue boxer shorts. On the waist band, there is an intricate pattern but he can make out the word 'SAM' and Sam loves it. He loves that Gabriel knows that he is Sam's and Sam is Gabriel's. Sam pulls Gabriel onto the bed, where he presses his body to Gabriel's. They'd made the promise to keep it strictly platonic until both men felt comfortable, and Sam will stick to that promise until the day he dies if it means Gabriel is happy and in his arms.   
"I love you" Sam mutters as Gabriel settles against his chest.

"Mmh I love you too" Gabriel responds, pressing a gentle kiss to Sam's jaw. Gabriel rubs a hand across the arm around his waist. Sam reaches down and pulls the thin duvet over them. Sam knows that despite it being December, Gabriel will keep him warm. Sam fits his body against Gabriel's as they fall asleep, sharing the final bit of warmth left in the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Sun beams into the room, creating shadows on the male bodies. Both men are awake, but neither wants to move, even though they know that they need to. But they don't move, they stay in each other's embrace, loving and sweet. Eventually, Sam decides to shower. He slides out from behind Gabriel and he walks into the shower room, where he finds his favourite soap.  
"Gabe, did you buy this?" Sam asks, popping his head out to look at his lover.  
"Kinda yeah, unlimited hot water, and all the stuff you want for a shower as a gift" Gabriel says, blushing slightly as he does. Sam merely smiles before walking across to Gabriel and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.  
"You wanna join me?" Sam asks, rubbing a hand through Gabriel's hair. Gabriel smiles and stands up before leading Sam into the bathroom.

Gabriel strips himself, turning away as he does. Sam smiles at how adorable Gabriel is, he still gets embarrassed about being naked around Sam. Sam wraps his arms around Gabriel and hugs him tightly.   
"You're gorgeous Gabe" Sam whispers, kissing Gabriel's neck.  
"You, Sam Winchester, are perfect: your dimples, face, personality. Everything about you is perfect." Gabriel says, turning in Sam's arms. Sam blushes at Gabriel's words, he's never thought about himself like that.   
"Well it's true" Gabriel says, responding to Sam's thoughts. Sam smiles against Gabriel's skin as they look at their reflections in the dirty mirror. Sam's hands are rubbing small circles in Gabriel's thin waist, while Gabriel's hand is sliding across Sam's arm. Gabriel leans up and kisses Sam, sliding his hand into Sam's hair. As a child, Sam had always wondered if angels existed how people thought; with white puffy wings, but angels are different from the stereotypical ones. Castiel has razor sharp, black wings that he has seen during dangerous hunts where Dean has gotten injured, while Gabriel has softer, golden wings which shimmer in the sunlight.

Sam has only ever seen Gabriel's wings once though, when Sam had almost got killed on a djinn hunt. Gabriel had killed the creature, his golden wings stood proudly, shining in the darkness of the barn. Gabriel is ashamed by his wings, he always seems to think that they are embarrassing but Sam loves them, he loves how protected he felt when he saw them. He knows Gabriel is an archangel, and the wings are a constant reminder that he has more power in his body than Sam will ever know.  
"Samsquatch, can you stop thinking about my wings please, I hate them" Gabriel says, curling his back slightly as if hiding them.  
"I love them Gabe, they're gorgeous, like you" Sam explains, kissing Gabriel softly before pulling him into the shower.  
"They're not Sammy, compared to other angel's wings, mine are small and inadequate, like me" Gabriel says, letting a tear fall. Sam shakes his head before pressing a gentle kiss to Gabriel's cheek.   
"Perfect Gabriel, like you" Sam says, hugging Gabriel tightly.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam wraps his arms around Gabriel's waist as the water beats around them. Somewhere in the back of their minds, they're aware that they should go finish the job, but for now all they want to do is stay where they are in each other's embrace under the steaming water of the shower. If Dean wasn't so hypocritical, Sam would feel comfortable with cuddling Gabriel. But sadly, Dean won't allow it despite the fact that on a night, Dean is the little spoon.   
"Sammunition, stop thinking about Deano" Gabriel muttered, earning a chuckle from Sam at the newest nickname. Gabriel grabs the soap and washes some over Sam's body. The water quickly washed away the soap. While washing Gabriel, Sam quietly hums his favourite song - Prayer of the Refugee by Rise Against. If Dean knew how much Sam loved that song, Dean would be ashamed. Sam grabs some more soap and washes it through Gabriel's hair, before washing it away with the water. Eventually, after a soft massage and some making out, Sam and Gabriel get out of the shower and get dressed, in silence. It isn't awkward silence, it's peaceful. And Sam loves it.

When they go out to Sam's car, Gabriel slides into the passenger seat and checks his Samsung phone. His wallpaper is Sam and Gabriel, on their first date. Sam began to drive down to the house where the ghost had been staying. When he arrived, he saw police outside of the house. He grabbed his FBI badge and so did Gabriel before they got out of the car. They walked over to the tape and flashed their badge before walking into the house. It was gruesome, and the victim was a baby. Gabriel knew this would be tougher for Sam than before. Sam hates cases where children are involved. Gabriel gently took Sam's hand as they walked into the room. Since there was no-one around, Gabriel was able to wrap an arm around Sam.   
"We better do this today, before there is any more victims" Sam said, his voice cold. Gabriel knows what it is. Sam is trying to hide his emotions. It would work, aside from the fact that Gabriel knows Sam well enough to know that he is hiding his emotions. Gabriel leads Sam upstairs, where he finds the chain laid on the floor. As he goes to pick it up, a force throws Sam across the room, rendering him unconscious and with, what is most likely, a broken shoulder. Gabriel grabs the chain before running over to Sam, who is waking up. Sam grabs some salt from his back pocket and makes a circle around them while Gabriel searches for a lighter. A gust of wind breaks the circle and in an instant, the ghost is at Gabriel's side, trying to grab the chain from him. The ghost lifts her arm, to strike Gabriel but before she can do anything, Sam pushes Gabriel out of the way so she hits him instead...


	4. Chapter 4

Gabriel salts and burns the chain, making the ghost leave, but he is too late and Sam is unconscious again, worse than before. Gabriel leans down and presses a gentle kiss to Sam's head before zapping them back to the motel room. Since he can't heal Sam fully, he will heal Sam's shoulder. Gabriel presses his hand against the bruised shoulder and whatever pain Sam would be able to feel goes as Gabriel fixes the wound, but Sam still hasn't woken up. Gabriel lets a tear fall, before brushing the hair out of Sam's eyes.

Gabriel quickly strips Sam of his shirt before walking to the bathroom. He locks the door behind him and looks at his reflection in the mirror. Just one hour previous, he'd been cuddling with his lover in front of this mirror, but now, his lover is unconscious. And he's to blame. He's too slow. Gabriel looks at himself in the mirror. He slides his hand into a cupboard, where he knows there are blades. He pulls out one of the blades before sliding down the wall, blade in hand. He lifts the sleeve on his suit jacket and pulls the blade across the soft skin of his wrist.

The wounds heal almost instantaneously, causing Gabriel to growl in anger. He should be the one in pain, he should be the one unconscious right now, not Sammy. Gabriel focuses on turning his healing abilities off before slowly pulling the blade across his wrist once more. The wound bleeds, blood dripping down Gabriel's arm onto the clean, white floor. Gabriel pulls the blade across his wrist a few more times, creating a row of thin, long cuts. More tears fall down Gabriel's face as he thinks about how worthless he is, how Sam is only with for the safety and the help. The cold metal pressing against his skin is calming Gabriel, despite what he is doing. Gabriel knows that if Sam sees it, he will be upset, so for now, Gabriel is going to try and find a way to hide it. A loud knock at the door pulls him out of his thoughts.  
"Gabe?" He hears the man he loves, calling for him.

He shakily stands up before accidently dropping the blade creating a loud 'ping' noise. In an instant, the bathroom door is bursting open and Gabriel is sliding down the wall once again, sobbing loudly. Sam jumps down and hugs Gabriel tightly, wrapping his arms around him and carrying him back to the soft bed, Sam's arms anchoring him, making him feel safer.  
"Gabe?" Sam tries again, still not receiving a response. Slowly, Gabriel stops sobbing, but he doesn't remove his hand from the wounds as he tries to hide them from Sam. Maintaining eye contact with Gabriel, Sam slowly removes Gabriel's hand from his wrist, where the wounds are still bleeding but not as heavily as previously.   
"Why?...." Sam asks, letting a tear fall down his face, which Gabriel wipes away gently.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam pulls Gabriel into his lap as he tries to find the appropriate words.  
“I almost lost you  Sammy” Gabriel whispers after a period of time. Sam instantly hugs Gabriel tightly, his large hands rubbing Gabriel’s back.  
“Y-You were unconscious…twice” Gabriel continues, stuttering as his voice broke from tears.   
“I’m here Gabe, I’m safe” Sam whispers, rubbing a hand through Gabriel’s hair.  
“A-and then I realised how worthless I am” Gabriel whispers sadly. In an instant, Sam’s mood changes.   
“Come with me” He says, leading Gabriel into the bathroom. Sam stands behind Gabriel, in front of the full length mirror, while undressing Gabriel.  
“Look at that Gabe, do you know what I see?” Sam says, pressing gentle kisses to Gabriel’s neck.  
“I see an archangel of the Lord who has gone through millennia watching life forming. I see someone who, despite maintaining a tough composure, was dying inside. But now, I am changing that. I want you to see how beautiful you really are. Your wings are perfect, just like you. I love how you come across as a trickster, but deep down you’re a mushy guy who is so loving, even the smaller things mean so much to you. I see someone who is a badass when he needs to be but he can be a sweet, soft guy when he wants to be” Sam starts, kissing across Gabriel’s shoulder blades.   
“I see a man who once battled against his own brother, for my safety. You defeated the king of Hell for me. Gabriel, you saved my ass more times than I care to mention. You stood by me through everything, no matter how often I fucked everything up. I see a beautiful man who once made me relive the same day hundreds of times and made me witness my brother’s death, which wasn’t funny for me, but I couldn’t help but smile as I watched how your eyes crinkled as you smiled and laughed. You are a good man Gabriel, and you know what else I see?” Sam continues, his hands slowly running through Gabriel’s hair.   
“I see Gabriel, the love of my life” Sam finishes, with a gentle kiss to Gabriel’s lips. As they pull away, Gabriel makes to speak, to argue Sam’s points, but Sam presses a finger to Gabriel’s lips, silencing him.  
“And yeah, I’ll admit, you can be a pain in the ass sometimes. But if it means I get hear your adorable laugh, I’ll put up with anything. Because Gabriel, despite everything, I love you” Sam said, before dropping onto one knee. Gabriel turned around, shock evident on his face as he saw the ring shining under the light of the bathroom.   
“Will you marry me Gabe?” Sam asks, nervously.   
“Yes, yes a million times yes” Gabriel says.   
“But only if you want me” He adds. Sam nodded and pulls Gabriel into a kneeling position, kissing him. Sam slides the ring onto Gabriel’s finger before hugging Gabriel tightly. Sam smiles widely as Gabriel follows him back to the bedroom. Sam grabs a bandage and loosely wraps it around the wounds before kissing Gabriel once again, passionately.


	6. Chapter 6

As they pulled away, tears of joy began to fall down Gabriel's face, making Sam smile. Gabriel crawled into Sam's lap and kissed him softly, showing as much love as possible. The clock ticking in the corner of the room was the only thing breaking the silence as the two men pulled away. Sam leant his forehead against Gabriel's and closed his eyes. Gabriel could see that he was obviously tired from the hunt.  
"You wanna sleep Sasquatch?" Gabriel asks, rubbing a hand on Sam's sides. Sam nods but doesn't make to move. Deft fingers slowly unbutton Sam's shirt as Gabriel slowly begins to strip his fiancé. Sam quickly helps him, unbuttoning his own shirt slowly, maintaining eye contact..   
"Thank you Sam" Gabriel says as Sam removes his black belt and socks.  
"What for?" Sam asks, wrapping his arms around Gabriel's waist.  
"Y-You made me feel like I'm worth something" Gabriel stutters, looking at the floor.  
"You  _are_  worth something to me. I would give up my dream of going back to Stanford if it means I get to have you in my arms every night, Gabe. You're the reason I get a good night of sleep now, you chase away my nightmares. On cold nights, or stormy nights, you're the one providing me with warmth and chasing away fears" Sam says, kissing Gabriel.  
"Gabriel, you are  _everything_  to me. You're the reason I wake up in a morning, the reason I'm alive, the reason I haven't killed myself yet, or gone insane" Sam continues, unbuttoning his black trousers and removing them.  
"And I'll be damned if I lie when I say I love you" Sam finishes, rubbing Gabriel's hip softly. Sam throws his trousers into a bag before pulling Gabriel onto the bed beside him.  
"You see this scar here?" Sam says, pointing to the scar on his hip.  
"You had saved me from a werewolf. She had me tied up, naked, and she was slowly scratching her way down my body. I prayed to you just after she did that. You instantly came to my side and killed her" Sam explains. Sam points to another scar, on his chest.  
"This is from a Jefferson Starship as Dean called it. It had stabbed me in the chest, Dean was unconscious. I prayed to you and Cas, remember? Cas instantly went over to Dean, while you healed me before killing it" Sam continues to explain.   
"Cos, Gabe, you see: each of these scars is a reminder that I will always love you. They remind me of the times I have spent with you and how caring you are behind the trickster façade. And honestly, I wouldn't get rid of them for anything. They are a constant reminder that I'm yours" Sam finishes, kissing Gabriel softly. Gabriel smiles up at Sam, who is steadily falling asleep, before settling into his chest and pulling the duvet over them, before falling asleep in Sam's safe embrace, and the knowledge his lover is safe.


	7. Chapter 7

 

As planned, Sam and Gabriel spend the week in each other's embrace, watching movies on the TV Gabriel had zapped in. They are currently only dressed in boxers, watching Guardians of the Galaxy because Gabriel clearly does  _not_  have a crush on Chris Pratt, he just drools whenever he is on the screen. Sam rubs his hand through Gabriel's hair, chuckling at the 'pelvic sorcery' joke. Gabriel looks up at Sam and smiles warmly.  
"I love your smile, and your laugh, and everything else about you" He whispers, kissing Sam's cheek. Sam pulls Gabriel into his lap before kissing him passionately, hands sliding across Gabriel's bare back. Gabriel rests his hands on Sam's chest as they kiss. Eventually, they pull away, but they stay staring at each other with adoration. Gabriel lies back down on Sam's chest, settling in the warmth that Sam provides. Gabriel's hands slowly stroke Sam's sides, feather-light touches. Sam's hands rest on Gabriel's lower back, rubbing small circles as Gabriel rests his head on Sam's chest. Time flies, neither man knows whether it is seconds or hours, but they don't care. All they care about is staying in each other's embrace. Gabriel's ring shines in the sun light, creating lights on the wall.   
"We have to go back tomorrow...are we telling dumb and dumber about well this?" Gabriel asks, signalling to his ring.  
"I think they'll notice anyway...I mean Cas will instantly notice...Dean on the other hand..." Sam trails off.  
"I wish we didn't have to go back to them sometimes...I wish it could just be us forever" Gabriel says sadly.  
"Yeah...me too" Sam says, rubbing his hand through Gabriel's hair gently.  
"Maybe we could y'know....leave" Gabriel says, quietly.  
"Maybe in a few years" Sam says, pressing a gentle kiss to Gabriel's lips. Gabriel smiles sadly up at Sam before letting his eyes fall shut.   
'Hmm...maybe a good night of sleep would be good' Sam thinks, before letting himself fall asleep beside Gabriel.


	8. Chapter 8

In the early hours of the morning, Sam awoke with a jolt. He was hyperventilating; he had sweat running down his face. He'd had a nightmare but it wasn't from Hell, or from Lucifer. It was from when Gabriel had battled against Lucifer and died. The knowing look on Gabriel's face as he told Dean and Sam to leave still haunting Sam's memory to this day, even with Gabriel in his arms.   
"Sammy?" Gabriel said, staring at Sam. A single tear fell from Sam's eye.  
"Oh God don't ever leave me please" Sam cried. Gabriel crawled into Sam's arms and kissed him softly.  
"Never gonna leave you, promise" He muttered, wrapping an arm across Sam's broad chest.  
"Now sleep Sammy, I'm here" Gabriel said, channelling some of his grace into Sam, who fell into a peaceful sleep. Gabriel's grace helped Sam warm up in the crummy motel bed, his nightmares were held at bay over-night and Gabriel managed to fall asleep on Sam's chest, biting back the tears that Sam didn't know about. 

 

When Sam awoke the next morning, feeling more refreshed than ever, he looked down at Gabriel and saw Gabriel still asleep. He had his arm resting loosely around Sam’s chest and his hair was ruffled.  
“Gorgeous” Sam muttered, rubbing a hand through Gabriel’s hair.  
“ ‘m not” Gabriel responded, peeking one eye open.   
“Ahem, let me point out all of your beauty” Sam said, kissing the top of Gabriel’s head.  
“You have beautiful eyes” Sam started.  
“Perfect smile” Sam says.  
“Gorgeous body” He says, rubbing a hand on Gabriel’s back.  
“Perky ass” Sam continues, making Gabriel blush.  
“Beautiful fucking personality” Sam says, kissing Gabriel’s neck.  
“But my favourite part of your vessel has to be your wings” Sam finishes, stroking Gabriel’s back where he thinks they are. A silent sob leaves Gabriel’s throat as Sam continually strokes Gabriel’s wings.  
“D-don’t fuck with me Sammy” Gabriel manages to get out as the tears start falling.  
“Now why would I do that Gabe?” Sam asked, brushing the hair out of Gabriel’s eyes and brushing the pad of his thumb over Gabriel’s cheek.  
“Cos you’re a Winchester: everyone knows that Winchesters don’t have a good past with me” Gabriel says, before sliding out of the bed and going to the bathroom.  
“I’m sorry Sammy, I just need time alone” Gabriel finished, walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind him. Gabriel slides down the door and sobs silently for an unknown amount of time. All he can think about is the ring on his finger, and what it means. The ring isn’t only a human thing, but an angel thing to. If an angel is to marry a human, that angel essentially becomes the human’s property. And while being in a relationship with him is amazing, Sam and Gabriel do need separate spaces sometimes, especially after big hunts or times when Gabriel isn’t able to let his wings out.  
“Hey Gabe?” He hears Sam call from behind the door.  
“Y-yeah?” Gabriel responded, stuttering slightly.  
“Before we have to go tomorrow, can we talk?” Sam asked with sincerity in his voice. Gabriel wiped away a tear before sliding up the door. He opened it and instantly fell into Sam’s warm embrace.   
“Gabe?” Sam asked, holding Gabriel tightly into his chest. Sam walked them both towards the bed, surprised at his ability to lift the smaller angel.  
“Gabriel, talk to me please” Sam pleaded, eyes watering slowly.  
“I-I hate my life. You’re the only good thing left, Sammy. I’m an archangel with one thing worth living for. What does that make me? A failure” Gabriel cries, turning away from Sam.  
“You know what Gabriel? You always seem to look at your new life from a bad perspective, you need to try and see the happier side of it. You’re gonna be getting married soon, I know you’ve lost your family, but you’ve gained another. And honestly, I prefer you like this” Sam says, rubbing his thumb on Gabriel’s cheek. Gabriel hesitantly nods and takes a deep breath, before hugging Sam.


	9. Chapter 9

“You’re right. I am getting married; I do have a good life. I have a smokin’ hot fiancé. And I’m a hot ass piece of meat” Gabriel says, faking a smile.   
“Yeah yeah, don’t get too big headed. You are good looking though, very” Sam says, wiping the hair out of Gabriel’s eyes.  
“With the way your body curves and moulds to fit with mine; your eyes which seem to be varying in colour from golden to a sweet autumn colour; I can’t believe that I, Sam Winchester, am marrying you” Sam said, with a small smile.  
“C-can we make love” Gabriel mutters.   
“Do you want to? Honestly? Don’t do it because you want to please me Gabe” Sam said.  
“Sammy, I honestly want to make love to you. Not because I want to please you, though that would be good, but because I trust you not to hurt me” Gabriel says, with a small smile.  
“Are you sure Gabe? We can always just start off smaller, y’know, handie” Sam said, not wanting to hurt Gabriel.  
“Well…I honestly don’t know. I wanna show you how much I love you, and I really wanna do this…I just don’t wanna get hurt by it…if you know what I mean” Gabriel said, fiddling with his thumbs.  
“I- We can either give each other a handie, blowjobs or I can finger you” Sam said, blushing majorly.  
“Which do you prefer?” Gabriel asked, the conversation not even remotely awkward for him.  
“Honestly? I don’t mind. Whatever you want to do Gabe” Sam said, gently kissing Gabriel. Gabriel began pressing kisses to Sam’s chest.  
“Let me” Sam said, flipping them over. He looked down at Gabriel and smiled before kissing him softly. Sam slowly began descending his way down Gabriel’s body, pressing gentle kisses to the skin as he did. Quiet whimpers occasionally left Gabriel’s mouth as Sam began pressing kisses to the insides of Gabriel’s legs. Sam slowly removed Gabriel’s green boxer shorts, pressing more kisses to the skin before taking Gabriel’s length into his mouth. Gabriel moaned quietly and wove his hands into Sam’s hair. Sam slowly bobbed his head a few times before deep throating Gabriel, making him come instantly, down Sam’s throat.  
“W-wow” Gabriel said quietly, as Sam pulled off, kissing him softly. Gabriel slides his way down Sam’s body, hands rubbing at his chest. Gabriel pressed kissed Sam’s thigh before taking Sam into his mouth.   
“Fuck” Sam groans, sliding his hands across Gabriel’s back. Sam’s tongue slides across Sam’s head, making Sam’s hips buck up into Gabriel’s mouth. Gabriel moans around Sam’s length before deep throating him. Sam moans loudly before coming down Gabriel’s throat.   
“W-wow…that was the best blowjob ever” Sam says, hugging Gabriel tightly.  
“R-really?” Gabriel stutters.   
“Yep” Sam smiles, pressing a small kiss to Gabriel’s lips. Gabriel blushes and looks away from Sam, trying to hide his face.  
“Now we are going to spoon, my beautiful angel” Sam said, turning onto his side. Gabriel blushed but rested his chest against Sam’s back. Gabriel felt Sam’s arm wrap around his waist, hand resting against the bare skin.   
“Beautiful Gabe, believe it” Sam muttered, kissing Gabriel’s neck and falling asleep. All of Gabriel’s fears about his body slowly float away as Sam’s words hit Gabriel: ‘believe’.

 


	10. Chapter 10

The morning after, Sam doesn’t want to move. He is warm, comfortable and happy for the first time in his life.   
“C’mon Sammy, we gotta go” Gabriel whines, pulling on Sam’s arm. Sam pulls on Gabriel’s arm, pulling him back into the bed.  
“You feel this warmth? Why would I want to leave it?” Sam asks, pulling the duvet over them both.   
“I guess…” Gabriel trailed off, feeling Sam’s lips pressed against his neck.  
“If we go back, I will cuddle with you at the bunker, and we will do it right in the living room just to piss Dean off” Gabriel whispers, kissing Sam’s lips.  
“Really?” Sam asks, brushing Gabriel’s hair softly.  
“Angel’s promise Sammy” Gabriel responds, holding his hand up. Sam intertwines their fingers, holding his hand tightly.  
“Fine…you better stick to that promise otherwise you’ll be sleeping on the sofa” Sam says, feigning anger. Sam slides out of the bed and grabs some sweatpants before pulling them on. He picks up an old t-shirt and throws it on before hearing a disgusted groan from Gabriel.

“You’re a tramp” Gabriel says as he slides out of the bed. Sam smirks and runs his fingers through his hair.  
“You love me really” Sam smirks, winking at Gabriel.   
“Yeah…but you stink” Gabriel responded, pulling Sam into a tight hug.   
“You love that smell” Sam whispers, picking Gabriel up.   
“That’s true” Gabriel responds, rubbing a hand down Sam’s back.  
“Ohh I’m gonna miss this” Gabriel mutters. As they pull away, the two men quickly pack their bags before grabbing Sam’s car keys.   
“Yeah, but back at the bunker, we won’t have to pay for each night” Sam responded, picking up the two bags.   
“True” Gabriel said as they walked out of the room. Gabriel returned the key to the receptionist while Sam placed the bags in the back of their Vauxhall Mokka. Sam jumps into the front of the car and connects his phone to the USB slot before putting on some music. Gabriel quickly jumps into the passenger seat of the car.  
“Mine” Gabriel growls, kissing Sam passionately.  
“Woah wait what?” Sam asked.  
“The woman at the reception…she said she wished it was you cos you were too handsome for one single human” Gabriel said, biting back tears.   
“I’m yours anyway, Gabriel you know that. Nothing will ever take me away from you” Sam whispered, his hand sliding down Gabriel’s arm. Gabriel nodded and wiped away his tears.   
“Always” They both said. Sam pressed a gentle kiss to Gabriel’s lips before putting the car into reverse and driving out of the car park onto the highway. Gabriel switched the song to Jet Pack Blues and chuckled before falling asleep in the passenger seat.


	11. Chapter 11

 

When he awoke, at around lunch time, he looked over at Sam, who had one eye on the road and one eye on Gabriel.  
“Burger time” Gabriel said, smiling at Sam.   
“Ugh fine” Sam responded, pulling into a diner.   
“Ooh look – they do milkshakes” Gabriel smiles, holding Sam’s hand tightly.   
“Of course they do Gabe, I’ve been going around the same area for about an hour waiting for you to wake up cos I know that you’ll like it in there. I went in during a hunt with Dean one time” Sam says, unbuckling his seatbelt. Gabriel unbuckles his own seatbelt before jumping out of the car. Sam chuckles and slides out of the car before locking it and catching up with Gabriel. Gabriel leads Sam into the empty diner. There is no one else in there except the staff. Gabriel pushes Sam into the booth and curls into his side.   
“Comfortable down there?” Sam asks as Gabriel rests his head on Sam’s broad chest.  
“Very” Gabriel mumbles, reaching for the menu.   
“Hello there. Can I help you gentlemen today?” A waitress asks.  
“Uhm, just a salad and a soda for me please” Sam says, looking at a speck of dirt on the floor.   
“Burger and a milkshake please – raspberry” Gabriel says, putting the menu on the table.   
“Thank you” She says before walking away. Sam rests his hand on Gabriel’s back, rubbing in small circles.   
“What do you reckon Phineas and Ferb are gonna say about us being engaged?” Gabriel asks.

“Honestly, I don’t know. Dean won’t be mad, he’ll probably be shocked. But Cas, I don’t know about him” Sam answers, resting his free hand on the table, tapping slightly.   
“Cas is…well Cas. He is hard to understand, I’ve known him for millenia and I still don’t know if I understand him fully” Gabriel says, chuckling lightly. The waitress brings over their food, before blatantly checking Sam out and walking away.  
“She was checking you out then, you know that right?” Gabriel says, sadly.  
“Yeah…but who cares? She has as much chance of getting me as we do becoming Rocket and Groot” Sam says, sitting up. Gabriel nods and smiles.  
“Well, you’re tall enough and I’m small enough” Gabriel smiles, rubbing his hand on Sam’s chest.   
“Yeah, but I’m not made of wood and you’re not a raccoon” Sam says, rubbing his hand through Gabriel’s hair.   
“Mmph” Gabriel moans, leaning into the touches before picking at his burger slightly.  
“Now eat Gabe” Sam says, before picking up the fork. Gabriel nodded and slurped his milkshake before taking a bite of his burger.   
“I love you Gabe” Sam says, rubbing Gabriel’s hair.  
“I love you too, my moose” Gabriel responds. Gabriel finishes his burger just as quick as Sam finishes his salad.   
“We gonna go then?” Sam says, drinking his drink. Gabriel grabs his plastic cup and drinks his milkshake before standing up. Sam lays $20 on the table before leaving, with Gabriel in tow. Gabriel chuckles and pushes Sam up against the car, kissing him passionately. Sam smiles and wraps his arms around Gabriel, resting his hand on Gabriel’s chest.   
“You’re beautiful Gabe” Sam mutters, rubbing Gabriel’s arms.   
“Not as much as you” Gabriel responds. Sam shakes his head, his long hair flailing about.  
“Beautiful face Gabe” Sam says, kissing Gabriel’s face.  
“Beautiful body, especially your arms” Sam says, pressing kisses to Gabriel’s scarred arms.  
“A-are these new?” Sam asks, with tears in his eyes, looking at some fresh wounds.  
“Y-yeah” Gabriel stutters, looking down.  
“I-I hate how I look. You’re like  a Greek God, a-and then-n there’s m-me” Gabriel says, stuttering and crying.   
“You’re beautiful Gabe, and I don’t care how you look compared to me. Don’t  compare yourself to me, I’m not good looking. You’re beautiful Gabe, just the way you are” Sam says hugging Gabriel tightly.  
“Y-you really think I’m beautiful?” Gabriel asks, stuttering.  
“I  _know_  you’re beautiful” Sam says, hugging Gabriel again.  
“I believe you then” Gabriel says, looking at the floor.  
“Good, cos it’s true” Sam says, rubbing Gabriel’s cheek with the pad of his thumb.  
“We going back to Fred and George then?” Gabriel asks, sliding into the passenger seat. Sam chuckles and walks around to the driver’s side and slides into his seat.   
“If you’re putting music on, at least choose some  _good_  music, like Bullet For My Valentine” Sam says, buckling his seatbelt. Gabriel chuckles and plays ‘A Place Where You Belong’ by Bullet For My Valentine. Sam pulls out of the car park and begins driving back to the bunker, with Gabriel beside him.


	12. Chapter 12

When they eventually arrive back at the bunker a few hours later, Sam stands and cuddles Gabriel for about half an hour before they decide to go in.  
“I’m gonna go shower” Gabriel says as soon as they are in.  
“Fair enough. I’m gonna head to the library if you need me” Sam responds, kissing Gabriel’s cheek, before running past Dean and Castiel, who are cuddling on the sofa. Gabriel takes a deep breath before walking into their room. He reaches under the bed and grabs his blade before walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind him. He turns the water on waits for the bathtub to fill. When the bathtub is filled, Gabriel strips himself. He looks at his reflection.  _Worthless_ he thinks. A tear falls as he slides into the bathtub, the water burning his skin. Gabriel grabs the blade and slowly pulls it over the pink skin on his thigh. A silent sob leaves his throat as blood drips into the water, dying it a red colour.  Gabriel pulls the blade over his thigh a few more times, the blood turning the water more red.   
“Gabe?  You okay in there? You’ve been in there a long time” Sam asks, breaking the silence.  
“Oh…yeah fine” Gabriel lies.  
“Can I come in?” Sam asks, knowing Gabriel’s lie.  
“Yeah…I guess…just please…don’t shout…” Gabriel says, unlocking the door. Sam walks into the bathroom and locks the door behind him. Sam isn’t shocked when he sees the bleeding wounds, just upset. He pulls Gabriel out of the bathtub and lays him on a towel on the floor. He empties the bathtub and cleans it before grabbing a clean cloth. He wipes away the blood on Gabriel’s wounds before covering them with a bandage, not saying anything.  
“Sammy…” Gabriel says, trying to break the silence.   
“Don’t Gabe” Sam responds, finishing the final bandage.   
“I don’t care why, I know why. I just wish you would realise I am here for you to talk to no matter what time it is or what it is” Sam says, letting a tear fall.   
“But for now…I just need time alone” Sam said before walking out of the bathroom. Gabriel sobbed loudly as Sam walked away, biting back tears.  
“Sammy?” Dean asked as he saw Sam crying.  
“I’ll go talk to Gabriel” Castiel says before walking up the stairs.   
“It’s Gabe…he’s self-harming” Sam says, bursting into tears. Dean wraps his arms around Sam and hugs him.  
“I stopped him when we were on the hunt, but he’s still doing it” Sam continues, wiping away his tears.  
“Well, as your brother I say this. You’ve told him that you’re here for him, maybe you should show him. For example, spend time together just cuddle. I know I say ‘no chick flick’ but he needs the comfort. I’m not doing this for him, I’m doing this for you. I’m gonna go away for a week with Cas, you guys can have the whole bunker to yourselves” Dean says, sitting down.  
“Thanks Dean…I’m gonna give Cas and him some time alone for now though” Sam says, brushing the hair out of his face. Dean chuckles and shakes his head, before sliding a t-shirt on. A few minutes pass before Castiel walks back into the living room.   
“He wants to see you Samuel” Castiel said, sitting on the sofa beside Dean. Sam walked upstairs, into their room, where he found quiet music playing and candles lit.  
“I’m sorry Sammy” Gabriel says, walking towards Sam. Gabriel takes Sam’s hands in his own and pulls him back to the bed. Sam stutters, trying to find words. But he can’t. Instead, he kisses Gabriel passionately and hugs him tightly.   
“Don’t apologise…just please…try to stop” Sam pleaded, rubbing Gabriel’s hair softly.   
“Deal” Gabriel responded, rubbing his hand on Sam’s back.  
“C-Can I ask why?” Sam asks, sitting on the bed.  
“I-I don’t feel good in this vessel. I feel like I embarrass you with how I look, you’re gorgeous Sammy. So tall, so muscly. I’m small and weak. It makes me feel worthless…and that you deserve better than me” Gabriel says, looking at the floor.  
“I don’t care how you look Gabriel, it’s what’s beneath those looks which is beautiful. And I don’t care if ‘I deserve better’ cos I don’t want better. I want you” Sam says, holding Gabriel’s head in his hands.  
“B-but, I could have any vessel I want, you could choose who you get to fuck Sammy, why is this one so special? I don’t want you to be stuck with me all your life if you don’t like my vessel” Gabriel said, picking at the hem of his shirt.  
“Yeah, but I didn’t fall in love with anyone else. I fell in love with you  _and_  your vessel” Sam says, kissing Gabriel softly. Gabriel begins letting tears fall again, his hands shaking slightly.   
“Even this?” He asks, pointing to the scars.  
“Yep. They make you, you” Sam says, kissing the scarred skin. Gabriel rests his head on Sam’s neck,  sobbing quietly.   
“Thank you Sammy” Gabriel mutters.  
“Don’t thank me Gabe, honestly. I love you so much I can’t lose you and I  _won’t_  lose you” Sam responds, holding Gabriel’s head in his hands softly. Gabriel nods, letting a tear fall, before hugging Sam tightly.   
“Do you wanna watch a movie?” Gabriel asked, removing his t-shirt.  
“Yeah…sure I guess” Sam said, watching as Gabriel stripped down to his boxer shorts. Sam smiled and stripped to his own boxer shorts, laying on the bed. Gabriel laid half-on Sam, with his head resting on Sam’s chest. Sam began stroking Gabriel’s hair as Gabriel used his mojo to play The Theory Of Everything on the wall. Gabriel also creates some popcorn and other sweets on the bed, causing Sam to chuckle. Gabriel leans up and kisses Sam’s cheek, relaxing into his chest as they began to watch the film together.

 

Over the course of the film, Sam and Gabriel curled more and more into each other’s embrace. While the film was playing, Dean and Castiel watched from the doorway as their brothers cuddled with each other.  
“I am glad they are happy Dean, it shows that even butthead Winchesters can have happiness” Castiel says, resting his head on Dean’s shoulder.  
“Yeah, me too. Even though Gabriel can be a pain in the ass, he makes Sammy happy. And for that reason, and that reason only, I accept him in our home” Dean says, wrapping an arm around Castiel’s waist.  
“Shall we go to bed?” Dean asked, kissing the top of Castiel’s head softly.  
“Yeah...” Castiel trails off, smiling slightly. They gently close the door before walking through the bunker.  
“Night Kevin” Dean said, looking down at the smaller man hunched over a book as per usual.  
“You should sleep too Kevin, you can read tomorrow but for now you require sleep” Castiel said, marking the page and closing the book. Kevin nods and yawns before walking over to his own bedroom.  
“Come on Cas” Dean says, rubbing his hands over Castiel’s tense shoulders. They walk over to their bedroom and close the door behind them. Dean quickly strips to his boxers, before turning to find Castiel changing into his own pyjama pants. Dean flicked the lamp off and slid into the bed, feeling Castiel wrap his arms around Dean. The Winchester Family may be messed up, it may not be normal – but it’s theirs and they found it. They’re in a place where they belong

 


End file.
